Demon Road Rage
by CatsOnMars
Summary: Years after they have defeated Naraku, Inuyasha and friends deal with domestic living in modern Japan. Absolutely not to be taken seriously.


Author`s Note: This was written by me and my sister, who I keep bugging to get an account here but she doesn`t have one yet. We call these kind of stories we often write together "bullshit stories", fanfiction that uses characters from something original and puts them in situations that would never happen and are never to be taken seriously. Traditionally these stories sometimes have inside jokes (though I don`t think there`s any in this one) and never end up finished. Believe me, the plots are never significant enough for them to be finished. So far we have written BS for Star Wars, Tekken 3, various bad WB shows, the Sandman comics, and Cowboy Bebop. And eventually we just had to write one for Inuyasha, and here it is.  
"What do you want?"  
  
This was Inuyasha`s habitual way to answer the phone, and what Kagome heard from the other room where she was knitting quietly.  
  
"No, we`re not interested," she heard him say. Then after a long pause, he yelled, "Christ, I said no thanks! Don`t they have manners in the modern era?!" Then he slammed down the phone and called to Kagome in the other room. "I`m hungry. Let`s go get some food."  
  
Kagome looked up at the clock as he came into the living room wearing a tight white T-shirt and baggy pants, the forelocks of his long black hair hanging in his eyes as usual. "But it`s only half past four."  
  
"So? I`m hungry now."  
  
Kagome giggled. "You know, I heard somewhere that if a person grows up being poor and not having enough food, no matter how much they eat for the rest of their lives they`ll never feel full. I think it`s kind of like that for you. You still have a demon`s appetite."  
  
Getting pissed and impatient, Inuyasha warned, "Hey, be careful. I`m still not a hundred percent human. I could eat *you* if I got that hungry."  
  
Kagome laughed and got up from her chair. She put her fingers around his nose and shook his head back and forth as if he was still just like a pet dog to her, which made him groan dissaprovingly. "Fine, if you`re going to be that pushy. I`ll go change clothes."  
  
As she walked away Inuyasha performed his classic, "Feh," and sighed, "Now we`ll never get out of here."  
  
This was how things had been for a little over a year now, ever since Inuyasha and the other four had finally defeated Naraku and gathered all the fragments of the Jewel of Four Souls. After nearly two months of contemplation in which Miroku and Sango in their boredom got engaged, Inuyasha had decided to use the jewel to become fully human. After that, of course, there wasn`t much left for him to do but go down the well into Kagome`s time and live with her there. That was fine with him, considering there was no competition or need to be powerful where Kagome lived. ("This era is so lame it makes me feel pretty tough, demon or not," he had said.) But despite what one would assume, Inuyasha did not actually become completely human. The group had only used most of the parts of the jewel so that they could save one shard to use for passage through Kagome`s well. Because Inuyasha used the jewel when it was only mostly complete, he was only mostly human. His teeth that had once been sharp fangs now still came to small points which Kagome thought were very cute, and he could still run very fast if he wanted to and lift the weight of a car on his own, though he seldom did either to avoid attracting attention.  
  
Inuyasha`s choice to become human was only the beginning of change for them. Shortly after his transformation Sango and Miroku came to visit Kagome`s time and both decided to live there with them. Even though the jewel had practically siezed to exist and things would be much less violent in their era, the two found a certain feeling of peace in Kagome`s time where no one even believed things like demons existed. Shippou was the only one who stayed behind. For someone so young the idea of settling in a whole other time period was a little frightening. Kohaku, who by the time he was finally freed from Naraku`s control had become more of a young man than a boy, befriended Shippou very quickly after Naraku was destroyed. It was him who decided to take Shippou under his wing until he was old enough to take care of himself. The two took up the remaining shard of the jewel so that they would be able to go into the well and visit the others when they wished.  
  
Out of the three, Sango was the one who adapted to modern times the easiest. In a short while she mastered use of ovens and stoves and actually learned to cook very well, so she and Miroku ended up inviting Kagome and Inuyasha over for dinner quite a lot. She also did an excellent job of decorating her and Miroku`s apartment with things like beaded curtains, pottery, and wicker furniture which Kirara sharpened her claws on far too often. They even had a small back room full of candles where Miroku could go to pray. Every time Inuyasha and Kagome were at their apartment they were amazed at how nice their living situation was. It was...well...better than theirs.  
  
Kagome was starting her second year of college and living away from her family`s house with Inuyasha. Her parents did not happen to be aware of this. It was not quite clear to Inuyasha why Kagome freaked out when he answered the phone and when her parents talked about coming to visit her. Having come from an age where many girls were married by the time they reached Kagome`s age, he couldn`t understand why she couldn`t just tell her parents about them. Kagome would say, "But we`re not married," and he would reply, "Feh." Sango had shook her head dissaprovingly when instead of solving the problem by talking, they got caller ID.  
  
Just as Kagome was putting on some earrings and about finished getting ready to go, the phone rang again and Inuyasha picked it up once again.  
  
"Give it a rest!" he yelled right away into the reciever. "Oh...hey, Miroku......Actually we were just about to leave....Shit, I don`t know. Kagome! Where are we going anyway?"  
  
"Doesn`t matter," she called back.  
  
"Well, Miroku says we can just go over there. Wait - I don`t want to go over there."  
  
Coming out of the bedroom so he could see her, Kagome said, "Why not?"  
  
"Because that means Sango`s cooking, and that means I have to wait around. I need food now."  
  
"Good grief," she said, taking the phone. "You can grab something here before we leave. Hello, Miroku? We`ll be there in a just a bit. Yeah, bye." She hung up the phone and took his arm, leading him toward the door. "You`ll live."  
  
"Fine," he sighed. "But I`m driving."  
"INU - ! Hey, watch out!" Kagome screeched as Inuyasha thrust the car around a corner without yielding.  
  
"Stop screaming at me, I can`t concentrate. Dammit, you old hag! Why don`t you go a little slower?!" he yelled at the car in front of them, honking the horn.  
  
Kagome sighed, crossing her arms, and gave up as usual. It was amazing; Inuyasha had taken weeks to get used to wearing new clothes, and even longer to learn that the people in the TV aren`t there. He still didn`t understand why women in this time went around wearing shoes with three-inch heels. But it had hardly taken him much time at all to learn how to be rude and unrefined here, even when he came from an era where there were no rules against smoking on elevators or neccessarily obscene gestures of the hand. Apparantly no matter what time period you threw him in, he couldn`t be made into someone you really want to introduce to your parents.  
  
When they got outside the apartment building, they hit the buzzer next to the name "Tatsino", the last name Miroku had made up to use. Miroku`s voice came through the speaker saying, "Come into my lair," followed by an evil laugh, and then an obnoxious long buzz indicating that the door was unlocked.  
  
"Jackass," Inuyasha muttered as they went inside.  
  
Sango and Miroku`s apartment always smelled like a funky combination of incense, cat litter, and alcoholic drinks. As soon as they entered Kirara ran over on her quiet paws and started to brush her fur against Kagome`s feet. Kagome picked her up and pet her as Miroku and Inuyasha greeted eachother by slapping eachother`s backs in an explosion of mass testosterone and curse words.  
  
"You son of a bitch, making me come here," Inuyasha said.  
  
One never would have guessed that Miroku was a monk; he dressed almost the same way Inuyasha did. Within his first month living there he had acquired more than enough outfits, a pair of black high-top converses, a nice gold watch, and three ear piercings in addition to the ones he already had. Along with his modern clothes he still wore the covering over his right hand, only without the prayer beads that used to seal it. Because although his air void in his hand had diminished along with Naraku, it had left behind a scar; a small hole in his palm, to be exact. But perhaps it was also just out of habit that he wore it, just like Inuyasha still wore the rosary beads around his neck (although Miroku and Sango both suspected this had something to do with sentimental value).  
  
Though visits between the two couples were rather frequent, Sango had been sick with strep throat for a few months and hadn't seen Inuyasha or Kagome, and was now enthusiastically hugging Kagome and catching up with her on what she'd been missing.  
  
A faint simmering was heard in the kitchen, and Sango left to tend to the food. As she passed by Inuyasha she touched his arm and kissed him on the cheek. "Long time no see, Yasha."  
  
"Good to see you," he said in his usual 'I'm not used to saying this' tone that was somehow sweeter than soap opera sentiment. "Feeling better, I see."  
  
"Much better."  
  
Kagome at this time was giggling lightly at Miroku. "Oh my gosh, where are you shopping? I would die to see Inuyasha in that belt!"  
  
Miroku posed with his hands at his grommet-belted waist and grinned showingly. "Sango bought it for me."  
  
"You look ridiculous," Inuyasha put in. "And you're wearing my cologne."  
  
Defeated, Miroku crossed his arms. "I didn't think you'd notice, Mr. Chanel."  
  
"Hell yes," Inuyasha smiled. "Do you have any idea how good that smells to dogs? Even that Curve crap Kagome wears oh my god who the hell is that?"  
  
"Huh?" Miroku looked over. "Oh, shit! I'm sorry, Junichi."  
  
The other that Inuyasha had noticed was an average-looking young man sitting on their couch watching TV. "It's allright, man," he said to Miroku.  
  
"Uh, this is my friend Junichi," Miroku said, gesturing to the modest vegetable to come over and talk to them. "I told you about Yasha and Kagome, of course."  
  
Instead of answering immediately, the guy, who looked to be only a little over twenty, started laughing. "Yes. Yeah, I've heard plenty about you two."  
  
Inuyasha was a little stunned, but Kagome was able to politely reach out and shake his hand. "Nice to meet you."  
  
And before Inuyasha knew it the other two were engaging in enthusiastic conversation with this Junichi, and he wasn't really in the mood to be friendly to someone he hardly knew, and announced,"I have to pee," and headed through the kitchen to the bathroom. 


End file.
